When I studied Tantra in India for nine years, I was especially inspired by the concept of sacred sexuality. It's an ancient idea that is lost on many Westerners. I especially loved the idea of approaching a woman's body—particularly her vagina—with a sense of worship.
The vagina is called yoni in Sanskrit and loosely translates to "a sacred space." In Tantra philosophy, we approach the vagina from a place of the utmost love and respect. Yoni massage is a practice intended to truly honor a woman, to give her selfless pleasure, and to explore the sacred side of our sexuality.
This isn't about having one orgasm. It's about trying to feel more and more pleasure that will become waves of multiple orgasms throughout the massage. It can be done alone, or done by a partner, either individually or as foreplay to lovemaking.
It's especially beneficial for women who have never had orgasms.Yoni massage allows you time to slowly explore your body in a more sensual way. It can also help women who have one orgasm and feel finished to achieve multiple orgasms. It can be very healing for those who have suffered sexual trauma in their past, because the approach and technique is all about giving to the woman—making her feel loved, cherished, worshiped, and honored.
As part of my work as a sex and tantra coach, I'm helping to modernize the ancient secrets in the Kama Sutra.
Here's how to start exploring:1. Set the scene.As you must when exploring all new things, start with an open mind, open heart, and no judgment of yourself or your body. Lie on your back in a comfortable place with a pillow under your hips, your knees up, and your feet on the ground. Have your favorite massage oil handy. I prefer coconut oil for its silky feel and sensual aroma.
2. Connect to your breath.Breath work is a key element in any Tantra practice. The one we'll use here is called Bliss Breath. Constrict the back of your throat, inhale, and hear a whispering sound, then exhale and release that sound again. Continue to take deep, slow, and audible breaths.
This grounds you in your body and keeps you out of your head, and it helps to spread the orgasmic energy throughout your body. We don't want the energy just in your clitoris. This type of deep breathing can help move that energy from the yoni to all parts of your body.
3. Warm up.While clitoral stimulation is great foreplay for sexual intercourse, a body massage or tantric breast massage is a great warm-up for the yoni massage. The goal here is to get relaxed and slowly build arousal.
Start with some coconut oil on the belly and gently massage there. The belly is an often overlooked area of the woman's body but has many nerve endings. Massage the rib cage, between the breasts, and the lower abdomen.
Once the body begins to respond, slowly circle the breasts before circling the areola—don't touch the nipples yet. Once her body responds more, begin to tease the nipples by alternating between circles and light pinching, and between light, medium, and strong touches.
The Five Yoni Massage TechniquesOnce you've warmed her body up with a breast massage and nipple stimulation, move on to the yoni massage.
1. CirclingCircle the tip of the clitoris with the tip of your finger to stimulate arousal, varying from smaller circles to larger ones. Alternate the pressure from light to heavy.
2. Pushing and pullingPush down on the clitoris and make small push and pull strokes, and then slide your finger down the shaft of the clitoris. Do this on both sides of the shaft, keeping in mind that some women are more sensitive on one part of the clitoris than another.
3. Tugging and rollingTo tug the clitoris, pull it gently away from the body by grasping at the sides and tugging back and forth. You can also move lower and tug the sides of the lips. Keep varying strokes from the top of the clitoris to down to the lips. To roll the clitoris, start by holding it firmly and rolling between the thumb and the index finger—kind of like you're making a tiny violin motion with your fingers.
4. TappingUsing one or more fingers, tap the clitoris in varying rhythms from fast to slow to learn what the body responds to most.
5. G-spot massageTo find the G-spot, curve your first two fingers like the letter C and slide them into the vagina. Feel for a soft, spongy piece of skin behind the clitoris. You can massage it by making a come hither movement with your curved fingers. Vary between fast and slow strokes. You can also tickle the clit simultaneously at the tip, or place pressure on or above the pubic bone.
Make sure to mix up all the above and vacillate between stimulating the clitoris in the various ways, while also involving the G-spot and nipples.
What is edging and how do you do it?The goal is to reach the edge of orgasm over and over again. When the body seems ready to explode, slow it down, pull away, then build it back up again to create multiple waves of orgasms instead of just one.
During the cool-down periods, place your hand on the heart to help keep the body grounded, connected, and feeling loving energy. Then build the arousal back up to the edge of orgasm once again, and then back off and slow it down.
The longer the foreplay or the back and forth, the more pleasure will be experienced.
Inviting you to a mystical afternoon of Ancestral healing, sacred womb yoga, meditation and kundalini whining. We open our sacred heart space to awaken the ancestral Kali shakti vibrations of transformation and liberation, that dwell within each and every one of us. By implementing the sacred art of Indigenous Kundalini Dancing, we facilitate the cultivation of sexual/creative (yin and yang) energy, allowing it to flow through us while we consciously direct it where desired.
By acknowledging our ancestral inheritance within we can tap into the boundless potential of universal love. As we begin to trust in the higher force of love, we can allow guidance and greater meaning to enhance our lives. Sensual movement and energy work enhances our awareness of this connection. As we naturally embrace the rhythm of our hearts and surrender to the beat of spirit, we open the gateway to self-love. Sensual movement meditation allows us to connect with our feminine point of power our wombs. By using sensual motions of the hips and pelvis we facilitate the release of emotional blockages and gently balance our energy.
With deliberate intention, we will awaken out and reclaim our Shakti in a dance of beauty, power and delicious transformation. We invite you to reconnect with the wild woman within as we let go and surrender to the divine flow of creation.
By coming together in sisterhood, we follow the path of the initiate into the ecstatic doorway of sensual bliss and self-acceptance. Sensual meditation is a primary practice that assists de-armouring and letting go. Allow us to move, shake, wine and grind to the inner rhythm of our RA, our core, our light. Along with a few kundalini breathing techniques and sequences designed especially for the womb and lower chakras. we will end our session with a grounding guided meditation.
Please feel free to bring yoga mat, cushions,blanket or anything that will make you feel more comfortable.
Call Zen shop on 0121 6433933 to book
You’ve probably heard someone say, “whenever you sleep with someone you’re also sleeping with all the people they’ve ever slept with” at some point in your life. While that’s not technically true, there is some merit to what’s being said, but not for the reasons you might think.
As humans, each and every one of us carries with them an ‘energy.’ We have multiple energies, one of them being our sexual energy or intimate energy. Whenever we’re intimate with another person, these intimate energies of each person become merged or even absorbed by the other.
So, if you sleep with people who are full of positive, loving energy, you absorb that energy, and it brings you up. In the same manner, if you’re sleeping with negative, destructive people, you’ll notice a shift in your energy toward the other end of the spectrum.
If we don’t regularly cleanse our intimate and sexual energies, they become ‘contaminated’ (for lack of a better word) by the energies of the people we’ve been sleeping with. So, in that sense, we are kind of getting intimate with whoever else our partner has been getting intimate with, which is why it’s important to regularly cleanse your sexual energy.
If you don’t, your energy will eventually be weighted down by all of the ‘dirt and debris’ you’ve collected from any partners over the course of time, which makes your vibration lower.
Four ways to cleanse your intimate aura
Aura meditation helps us focus on ridding ourselves of undesirable energies that we may have acquired over time. Use meditation to regularly ground yourself by clearing your auras, energy channels and chakras. Use energy-based aura meditation to regularly cleanse your energetic being, just as you would take a shower or brush your teeth.
When we need an aura healing, we seek out a healer who will help you cast away any unwanted energies. These healers are people who will help restore your flow of energy by removing any blockages. Reiki is one form of aura healing that is effective and popular in many areas.
Sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish between our own energies and foreign energies we’ve obtained from elsewhere. An aura reader will assist you in picking out which energies are yours and which ones you need to get rid of. Recognizing which energies are your own is important for getting rid of the right ones.
Accept your emotions, and then express them
When we have emotional energy that does not get released or channeled in a proper way, it can create a blockage in our spiritual energy system. When this happens, unwanted energies get trapped inside.
To avoid this, make sure you’re truly feeling any emotions that have hid themselves away. When we let ourselves experience these hidden emotions, we release that energy, which helps keep our systems flowing healthily.
Other practices that will help clean your aura, in addition to the four listed above, include:
There is so much to say about boundaries and how foundational they are for our sense of self. In this post, I'll focus mainly on the relationship between our self-worth and our ability to set healthy boundaries effectively.
Without firm boundaries, we can easily become "merged" or enmeshed with others, causing us to emotionally caretake, be overly responsible, or neglect our own needs. When boundaries are too rigid we isolate ourselves and push others away.
Healthy boundaries are "selectively permeable." They are not too rigid nor too loose (not extreme). Rather, they are flexible and can be opened or firm when needed, much like a healthy cell.
Boundaries are related to our early attachment needs as children. They pose the question: 'Where do I end and where do you begin?' All of us started out in life as a "we" when we were infants bonded with our mothers. Being securely attached to our mothers helped us internalize this sense of security and helped us to form our own healthy, separate sense of self. If we were not securely attached to our mothers, we may have developed a background sense of inner insecurity and on a subconscious level, we may still be looking for this security from other people as adults.
On one side of the spectrum, this can cause us to have very weak boundaries, letting in anyone who remotely relates to us with care and affection, being too trusting, or having a very high tolerance for poor treatment from others. Weak boundaries can open us up to being taken advantage of by others and can cause us to be on an emotional roller coaster, because our sense of security is not yet fully anchored within ourselves.
Confidence and Feeling Safe in your own Skin
An important step in developing healthy boundaries is learning that no outer person can provide the inner safety that you need; the time for that is only in early childhood and that time is over. However, as adults we can mourn that lost opportunity and develop inner safety within.
Knowing ourselves as individuals is essential to true intimacy and connection. As we fine-tune our self-awareness, we can know more fully our own needs, desires and preferences. Taking the time and space for your inner work is an important form of self-care and it reinforces a deep sense of integrity.
It's a paradox that the more centered and grounded we are in our own inner sense of self, the better partners and friends we are able to become.
The old paradigm: Compliance with others = Acceptance from others
You are the expert on You. It's OK to be yourself, to have differing needs and preferences than those around you. This may seem obvious but we're surrounded with the images of desirable females being the most yielding and most willing to be dominated. These messages remain in our subconscious until we actively dismantle them. Have you ever caught yourself having a background thought that surprised you? This happened to me when I ran into some friends I hadn't seen in a while and had gained a few pounds. I noticed an impulse to say something like "I haven't been to the gym in a while. I've been so busy lately." I was disturbed by this impulse to apologize for and provide a narrative for others about changes in my own body. Noticing this impulse was very informative on the power of unconscious messages and how they can emerge into our daily lives even though we don't consciously agree with them.
What you say No to determines the success of what you say Yes to.
Our boundaries determine what we say yes and no to. Learning how to say No is a skill and an art. Before asserting a boundary, It's important to take the time we need to process emotions like rage and fear that may be initially present so that we come from our highest integrity in the exchange. Anytime we can communicate a clear and clean "No" devoid of bitterness or negativity, we are demonstrating a high-level of self-worth.
Sometimes loving someone involves affirming your separateness, not your sameness.
We give our power away when we accept the shame that others project onto us because of their own unprocessed pain. We serve others, not by accepting their pain as our own, but by highlighting their ability to make new choices. Don't feel obligated to absorb pain that isn't yours.
Healthy boundaries: Sovereignty of Self
Shame is a toxic emotion instilled in us from childhood that causes us to soften our will, to feel less sure of ourselves, less powerful and thus more compliant to the wishes of others. When we set firm, healthy boundaries we are reclaiming ourselves from the toxic shame we may have experienced in childhood and asserting our sovereignty as individuals with the power and right to define who we are, and what we will or will not allow into the sacred space of ourselves.
For others, being in your life is a privilege...not a right
As we continue to realize our true worth, we are less willing to tolerate the people, circumstances and situations in our lives that do not reflect our worth and self-respect. No one has a right to be in your world; nor is anyone entitled to your time. If people want to have the privilege of being in your life, it must be earned by treating you with consideration and respect. As you emerge into greater self-worth and set new boundaries, the people who may have felt entitled to a place in your life may protest or object, unconsciously seeking to instill a sense of guilt or obligation in you, perhaps calling you ungrateful or selfish for holding your boundaries firm.
Do you give your power away and acquiesce to their demands? Or do you respectfully communicate your boundaries even in the face of their disapproval? How you respond to that is a reflection of your self-worth.
Healing the "good girl" syndrome
As little girls we were rewarded for being relational, compliant, quiet and invisible. The covert message is that you don't deserve to have ownership of yourself. Messages about the primacy of appearance and sex-appeal also communicate that "Your body is not your own. It exists for the pleasure of others." These early cultural and familial messages may have caused us to develop, to some degree, a false self. This false self helped us gain acceptance from others but at the cost of our own authentic needs and desires.
Maturity involves shedding the false self and discovering our authentic self---separating out our true needs and wants from the fake ones we took on in order to survive.
In the process of discovering our true, authentic needs and desires things may change in our lives which can be very challenging, but ultimately the changes will bring new forms in our lives that reflect who we really are. People in our lives who have been used to us being compliant, submissive or docile may be surprised or feel inconvenienced when we assert our boundaries.
A Quote from Eve Ensler:
"To be a strong woman, to be a fierce woman, to be a true woman, to be a leader, to be truly powerful, you have to get to place where you can tolerate people not liking you. And know that when you actually do that, you have to fall back on your own moral imperative in your own moral trunk and say, ‘I don’t care, this is what I believe. This is who I am.’"
You are your own treasure. You belong to You.
Having healthy boundaries involves being connected to your worth, being anchored to your own center of truth, and being willing to communicate with those around you authentically. It's a skill that can be learned, practiced and refined over time. When starting out it may seem scary but each time it gets easier and more empowering. Over time, we start attracting more and more people that that are willing to respect our new, healthy boundaries. The ones who are unwilling to do so will pass out of your life.
When we have healthy boundaries, we feel increasingly safe and supported within ourselves and we also become more effective at everything we do.
Questions to contemplate on boundaries:
You don’t know what you’re missing if you’ve never owned a Himalayan Pink Salt Lamp. It’s like having an open window – a softly glowing natural source of fresh, clean air – on your desk, in your living room, next to the bed, or anywhere you choose to put it.
Want to own your own Himalayan salt lamps? You can purchase a variety of sizes from this page on Amazon.
Before we dive into the health benefits of using Himalayan pink salt lamps in your home, it may be helpful to first have a brief chemistry lesson:
How Salt Lamps WorkAll matter (the human body, air, water, etc) is made up of molecules which are made up of atoms which are made up of three types of particles: protons (positive charge), electrons (negative charge), and neutrons (no charge). Electrons orbit their molecules like planets revolve around a star.
Occasionally an electron flies off and when it does, it leaves behind a positively-charged ion whose sole purpose in life becomes to fill the void left by its little lost electron. In other words: it wants to steal a replacement electron from another molecule. Due to differences in molecular structure (number of electrons in the outermost orbit, strength and structure of electron bonds, etc) some materials lose electrons much more easily than others.
With this basic understanding of the behaviors of positive and negative ions fresh in your mind, let’s take a look at the top 10 benefits of the Himalayan Pink Salt Lamp.
1. Cleanse & Deodorize the AirProbably the most well-known benefit – and why the majority of people use them – is due to their incredible power to remove dust, pollen, cigarette smoke, and other contaminants from the air. “But how do they do this,” you ask? “It’s just a big chunk of salt with a light bulb inside, right?”
Well yes, but no. There’s much more to it than that.
Himalayan pink salt lamps purify air through the power of hygroscopy, meaning that they attract water molecules from the surrounding environment then absorb those molecules – as well as any foreign particles they may be carrying – into the salt crystal. As the HPS lamp warms up from the heat produced by the light bulb inside, that same water then evaporates back into the air and the trapped particles of dust, pollen, smoke, etc remain locked in the salt.
2. Reduce Allergy & Asthma SymptomsBecause HPS lamps remove microscopic particles of dust, pet dander, mold, mildew and the like from the surrounding air, placing a lamp or two in the rooms where you spend the most time can seriously cut back on allergy symptoms. Even people who suffer from asthma should notice a big difference after a week or two. (In fact, Himalayan pink salt is so good for your airways, there are even HPS Inhalers!)
3. Eases CoughingWhen the Himalayan pink salt lamp heats up and begins its hygroscopic cycling of airborne particles, it also changes the charge of the molecules which are released. (Remember our chemistry lesson?) The majority of homes are filled with positively charged ions which aren’t particularly good for a person’s health. The positive ions are created by a number of things, but the primary source for most of us is from our electronics.
One of the health detriments of breathing lots of positive ions in the air is that the cilia (microscopic hairs) which line the trachea (aka windpipe) become sluggish and don’t work as well to keep contaminants out of our lungs. As a Himalayan pink salt lamp absorbs water and particles from the air, it also takes positive ions with them. Then, when the heated salt releases cleansed water vapor back into the air, it also expels negative ions which have the opposite effect on our airways – increasing cilial activity to keep your lungs clear.
What all this means in a nutshell: Besides removing contaminants from the air, Himalayan pink salt lamps also help your body to filter air more efficiently so any foreign particles you do happen to breathe won’t make it into your lungs.
4. Increase Energy LevelsTaking a drive through the countryside with the windows down, spending time at the beach or camping in the mountains, or simply taking a shower first thing in the morning are all things that many people find invigorating. It’s not a coincidence that these are all activities which expose us to increased concentrations of negative ions such as those generated by Himalayan salt lamps. The fact is, positive ions sap our bodies of energy. Unfortunately, it’s all too common for us to try to diagnose the problem as something else entirely.
If you constantly feel tired and don’t know why, try keeping a Himalayan salt lamp in the room or rooms where you spend the most time. After about a week, you should notice a difference.
5. Neutralize Electromagnetic RadiationNowadays, most of us are living in a metaphorical ocean of electromagnetic (EM) radiation which flows from our electronics (ie: television, computer, cell phone, tablet, appliances, stereo, etc). While they may be invisible, the long-term effects of EM exposure can be quite serious. Constant exposure to EM radiation is known to increase stress levels, cause chronic fatigue, and decrease the body’s immune response, among other things.
As they emit negative ions into the air, Himalayan salt lamps work to neutralize electromagnetic radiation. Keep one next to the computer, television, and any other electrical devices which you use frequently to reduce the potential danger to you and your family.
6. Better SleepAnother side effect which results from over-exposure to positive ions in the air is that it robs you of quality sleep. This happens because those positively-charged particles can actually reduce blood and oxygen supply to the brain resulting in irregular sleep patterns. Himalayan pink salt lamps are natural negative ion generators, thus they can help to reverse this problem. Keep one or two around your bedroom to improve the air quality so you can get a better night’s sleep.
Remember, even if you’re like me and you can’t sleep unless the room is totally dark, you can always turn the lamp off at bedtime. Just leave it on for the rest of the day so it can do its work while you’re awake. People in humid climates should be aware that HPS lamps tend to weep when the salt becomes cool. You’ll definitely want to protect surfaces by placing a saucer underneath and be sure to follow the instructions for use and care which should be included with your lamp!
7. Improve Mood & ConcentrationHimalayan pink salt lamps are a great way to naturally enhance your mood or to help you relax and unwind at the end of the day. At the same time and on the opposite side of the coin, HPS lamps are great for improving concentration. Again, this is due to the effect of the negative ions on your body, improving blood and oxygen supply to the brain and other organs, as well as providing a boost of serotonin – the neurotransmitter which makes us (literally) feel happy.
8. Treat Seasonal Affective DisorderIn addition to generating negative ions which improve mood and energy levels, the soft, natural light given off by a Himalayan pink salt lamp is close enough to the warm glow of sunshine that they can even be used to relieve the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. This year when the days get shorter, fight back the lethargy by surrounding yourself with a few HPS lamps set on timers.
9. Reduce Static Electricity in the AirWhile not a “health benefit” at first glance, static is pesky stuff. It causes stress, embarrassment, and frustration. Static zaps you when you least expect it, as you’re reaching for a door handle, kissing your husband or wife before bed, or trying to pet your dog or cat. Static can give you a bad hair day, make it impossible to clean crumbs or coffee grounds off of the kitchen counter, and even cause you to accidentally go to work with a sock stuck to the back of your shirt…
(Okay, so that last one may have been a little over-the-top.) The point is, static electricity can be a huge pain and Himalayan pink salt lamps are a natural way to neutralize the airborne ionized particles which cause it.
10. Environmentally-Friendly Light SourceLast, but not least: Himalayan pink salt lamps are environmentally friendly. While only an estimate, the reserves from which HPS is mined measure somewhere between 80 and 600 million tons and is projected to last for at least another 350 years at the current extraction rate. The base of an HPS lamp is generally carved from a sustainable wood such as neem. Some lamps use a low-wattage bulb which consumes very little energy while others are powered by a lit candle.
Choosing & Placing Your Himalayan Pink Salt LampWhen it comes to buying Himalayan pink salt lamps, coverage is determined by the size of the crystal. Smaller lamps are good for the average bedroom, while larger lamps are better for spaces like the living room or den. On average, calculate that 1 lb of HPS crystal will cleanse the air in approximately a 4′ x 4′ area.
If you can’t find a large enough lamp for any given room, remember that you can use multiple lamps spread out around the space for the same effect.
I highly recommend building a whole-home collection of these beautiful lights even if you only buy one or two at a time. Start by purchasing appropriately-sized lamps for those areas where you spend the most time, then move on to rooms with lots of electrical devices, and finish your collection by adding lamps to infrequently-used spaces.
For added variety, consider adding some Himalayan pink salt tea light holders to your HPS collection for a portable air purifier that can move around your house with you.
Remember, Himalayan pink salt crystals will begin to melt with prolonged exposure to high humidity. For this reason, use caution and keep a close watch on any HPS lamps positioned near sources of steam such as dishwashers, laundry machines, or showers.
Also, as previously mentioned, results of negative ion generation may take about a week to be noticeable, so don’t give up if you don’t feel the improvement right away.
More Ways To Purify Home AirHimalayan pink salt lamps aren’t the only way to improve air quality in your environment. Pair them with air purifying houseplants or any of these other simple, yet brilliant techniques to naturally purify the air in your home so you and your family can breath the healthiest, cleanest air possible!
Original article from naturallivingideas.com.
Yep you heard right, female ejaculation. For some of you sweet things, this may be a W T F? moment; other readers it will be nothing new; but please, do keep reading...
A few years ago, I remember sitting around a dinner table and the women discussing their 'overly sexual' friend(whom was not present) who recently told them she could ejaculate during sex. The energy of the group of women was a fusion of hysteria, awkwardness, yet deeply curious & intrigued. They made fun of the woman, laughed in their awkwardness; yet they all wanted to know more & experience this ... I could feel it. All the while I am sitting there thinking... "Shit I want to tell these women what they're missing out on".
The thing is... every woman has the ability and potential to ejaculate.
Here is a basic overview of the Kundalini / biological process of Amrita; in my own interpretation of experiencing this & also with references of Tantric Yoga texts. However here, I more share from what I have experienced & embodied; and I always encourage you to do the same. The divine feminine is embodied; and sources her wisdom from within; not a cookie cut out from a text book process.
WHAT IS AMRITA & KUNDALINI ?Amrita is the sanskrit word for 'sweet nectar'. The Kundalini is the twin serpent energy (vital life force) that resides at the base of our spine awaiting to be awoken. During love making, spiritual practice such as Yoga & tantric practices, the kundalini can be awoken & raised through the chakras. As it rises up the spine it purifies all the chakras all that is not in alignment with love & is an intense process that causes not just genital orgasm but full body energetic orgasm & beautiful experiences like Amrita (female ejaculation). In the Kundalini rising/awakening processes it is the two fluids of the twin serpent kundalini snakes; that drips down from the crown of the head once they have risen up to the crown, from the base of the spine & met eye to eye in the centre of the brain around the pineal gland; in perfect non duality union. This experience is blissful and meditative, and one goes into a complete present state of non duality, in my experience it feels like the most intense meditation ever, and there is no ME anymore, I am not identified with being a woman or man, it is just blank. Once the snakes meet, they produce & secrete a fluid, the Amrita that drips down the back of the throat all the way down the spine & can be excreted through the mouth, and the yoni (vagina).
Sometimes I will spit or scream as the energy comes out my throat, and then it makes its way down to the lower back & to the yoni and will be secreted out the urethra.
This process is incredibly powerful and healing. Words simply do not do it justice but I hope I am conveying this in a clear way.
Amrita is in fact referred to as the sweet nectar as it was drunk by the Gods and used as a potent and powerful healing & transformational medicine; today most of us are no where near accessing our full sexual potential and utilizing this incredible gift.
WHERE DOES THE FLUID COME OUT? Women ejaculate through their urethra, the same place we pee from. Not through the vagina. So, naturally the biggest fear around fully experiencing this is around fear of 'letting go'. Because when the tension builds it can feel as though we need to wee, and around that fear of letting go, making a mess, we hold back. So it is super important to feel safe, I like to put a towel down on the bed; as a lot of liquid comes out. Psychologically it is also around feeling safe in your body, in your feminine and allowing yourself to fully recieve during love making. The feminine essence is receptive, she receives, through the yoni - when fully in touch with your body there is no mind involved in this process - it is almost as if the energy just dances through you; and you offer your body as the vessel for what wants to happen; no judgement, no control or thinking "I hope he is enjoying this" or heaven forbid worrying about house work, or life dramas. No mind is ESSENTIAL!
HOW TO AWAKEN TO AMRITA? As I mentioned, no mind is key. So being committed to being 100% present with your body. Try deeply meditating before love making or self pleasure. Be in a relaxed state. The most intense ejaculations I have had were after I spent an hour in the bath soaking my body before love making.
Women's sacred spot, (the g-spot) is; as the name suggests - sacred. This is because this point once opened to its full potential opens the gateway to the Amrita process to begin. It this spot however is where we hold so much of the guilt shame fear around sexuality and our femininity so it is crucial to clear & heal this sacred spot on all levels mind body soul for this process to even be possible. I can support this in our 1:1 sacred sexology sessions.
Empowered & Embodied. All women are able to experience this; and you do not need an experienced tantric lover; in fact when a woman is tuned into her natural self, no matter who she shares her sexual energy with, they will automatically step up into their fullest sexual potential. This is the way of the female tantrika. She lies within us all. The key is self love, and self exploration first, if a woman does not know her own body & how to make love to her self, she will never be able to FULLY experience her sexual potential with another.
Surrendered & receptive are the mantras for the sacred feminine during love making. Once all control is let go, and she allows herself to fully receive the sexual fire from the masculine, the natural flow of masculine and feminine energy can take place. That is: Man giving energy from penis, woman receiving energy through vagina. Woman giving energy from heart, man receiving energy through heart.
HEALING BENEFITS OF AMRITA?There are countless healing benefits to this beautiful experience. Unlike men, when they ejaculate they are losing energy. When women ejaculate we do not experience this, in fact in my experience I gain a LOT of energy. For me it feels as though it is a feeling of release. After I feel clear in my body, in my mind and spirit. I feel extremely calm the next day; and super creative. Sometimes I get flu symptoms the day after, a bit of a head cold, which I know is a semi detoxification process and it doesn't last longer than a day. It also as it is clearing out the urethra, prevents things like Urinary Tract Infections; as it is incredibly cleansing of the kidneys and urinary tract. It balances hormones and supports menstruation troubles. Other benefits include, cleansed throat, so greater self expression. Entire chakra cleansing. Open heart. Increased creativity. Greater self empowerment. The list is endless.
Yoga Tip: Tongue: Yoga’s Sensuous Muscle
This slender powerful muscle is easily the most under-valued muscle in yoga instruction. For many teachers talking about the tongue is taboo. The tongue is sexual especially if that pink thing is moving. It should remain hidden. Heaven forbid if anyone expose his or her tongue in a yoga class! Cuz you know what that means. Don’t you? Some perv is trawling for sex.
Is Your Tongue Supple Enough to Rouse Yogic Energies?
Three decades back I got the strangest looks from classmates in high school chemistry when I used to slap my tongue rapid-fire up & down like a snake. Okay, so I’m an oddball. But it felt calming to my nervous system & made it easier to think clearly. Yogis do some odd things that really aren’t odd. By examining the reasons behind practices, we can learn so much about our bodies & the energetic pathways to living a vital sensuous life. Especially for anyone interested in tantra, learn about your tongue as a gateway to awakening flows of energy.
The tongue plays a huge role in either blocking or connecting the energy connecting the central energy channels of the lower body with the brain & cranial glands. When clenched with unconscious tensions this oral muscle inhibits the pillars required to build a successful Hatha yoga practice, namely Ujaya breath & Mulabandha. Relaxing & utilizing the tongue as an energetic conduit between the head & the spine (sex, survival, power chakras), hips, legs, feet & the earth is the easiest quickest way to upgrade your yoga practice.
As a teacher, I observe hundreds of studio members struggling with short choppy breaths. In as many different ways as possible, every day I coax these individuals to stretch out the duration of their breath cycles. Naturally I talk about the tongue. In challenging asanas when the breath remains long and elegant while the heart rate spikes up, miracles happen on the mat.
Why not take 5 minutes to wake up your tongue? See if you feel more relaxed & energetically plugged into the flow of your sexual life-force? If you do, why not incorporate awareness of your tongue on the mat & in your life?
Step 1: Mulabandha – Spread this pink muscle slightly forward & gently lift. The tongue won’t be flat because the roof of your mouth is not flat. The tip may extend slightly beyond your front teeth depending on how long it is. When you inhale, lightly draw up this wide soft tongue. At the same time, lightly draw up the tiny perineum muscle in your pelvic floor. On a scale of 1 – 10, if 1 is flaccid like a glob of jelly & 10 is hard like diamond, aim for 3 or 4 in terms of hardness. Engage these muscles like a gentle suckle. Squeezing too hard kinks up the energy lines & introduces more tension into what’s likely already an over-wound system. Are you playing with it, this lift in the tongue & perineum? This is Mulabandha (root lock) which is best practiced predominantly on inhales.
When you combine Mulabhanda with Ujaya, Ahhhhh! Now you’ve got something sensuous! The Root Seal + Long Oceanic Breath = Rise of Sexual Energy up the Spine! Get ready to feel so AWESOME! Again, if you don’t believe me, TRY IT!
Step 2: Ujaya – Engage whisper muscle at the back of your throat to create a subtle restriction on both inhales & exhales. This Ujaya creates a calm slow oceanic cadence to the breath.
Step 3: Now bring the tongue & perineum lift together with the Ujaya Ocean breath. Close your eyes. Pay attention. From the inside-out, let energy rise up your spine & expand the boundaries of your psychic skin. Can you feel your aura unfurling?
Relax your tongue! Go ahead. When no one’s looking, massage yourself. Trust me. It’ll feel good. Work the tensions out with your fingers. Then try slapping your tongue up & down as quickly as you can. If these options sound too weird, just slide the tongue slightly forward & spread/lift it into the roof of your mouth. Notice if your Ujaya breath instantly becomes much much easier. And isn’t it easier to generate the lift in your perineum when you lift your tongue?
For many yogis developing the necessary dexterity to draw energy from the perineum up the spine & into the 1000-petal lotus of the 7th crown chakra is the Holy Grail of Yoga. Is this stuff real or just some myth invented by Indian dudes writing up their own winning lottery tickets? Well, this mulabandha is real. So are the 7 chakras. From my experience, the tongue is one of the keys. If you don’t believe me, try it! Right now! In a comfortable posture, close your eyes. Relax your tongue. And play with a sensuous steady lift & a long slow breath! Ahhhhhhh! Om Shakti Om … Om Shiva Om
Halloween. The word conjures images of caramel apples, jack-o’-lanterns, costumes, and of course all things “spooky.” This is one of those holidays that, try as the Catholic church may have, it never could separate from its Pagan roots. Another name for Halloween is Samhain—usually pronounced “sow-iyn”—and, for many folks who identify as Pagan, like witches and Wiccans, it’s one of the holiest days of the year. And while today’s version may seem all fun and games, behind the masks and piles of candy lie serious traditions paying homage to the forces of life and death.
For ancient people all over the Northern Hemisphere, the waning of the sun’s energy in mid-autumn heralded the end of the bright, warm, abundant part of the year. Most plants and animals stop producing offspring; the days grow shorter, the nights longer. Then rain and snows come, so some peoples refer to this time as “The Feast of the Snow Witch.” It was normal to see not only the land but members of your family and community, as well as livestock, die off during winter. Ancient people struggled with ways to ensure their safety and health through these long months, calling on ancestors to lend their wisdom and foresight as people peered into the
This “shutting down” of Earth was considered the primordial face of Chaos rising and assuming reign over a portion of the year. It was thought the “veil between the worlds” was thinner—the spirits of the dead would walk the earth. In other words, everything was going wrong, backwards, upside down. Even the gods weren’t immune to this disorder, and many of the great underworld journey myths take place at this time of year: The Greek goddess Kore/Persephone journeys to Hades; the Assyrian goddess Ishtar makes her descent; the Egyptian god Osiris is killed by his brother, Set, and resurrected by the great goddess Isis.
One way people observed this was to dress up and wear masks—a practice that goes back at least to ancient Greece—as a way to trick the dead souls and demons that wandered Earth. People hoped that by blending in with the devils, they would be overlooked and spared misfortune in the coming months. Masking was also used to trick one another to prepare for the chaos of winter; placation for the mischief-makers usually came as a coin or a sweet treat, hence the “Trick or Treat” of today. A house that refused to pass out treats might have ended up with piss-pots overturned on their doorsteps and the walls splattered with rotting vegetables—the modern equivalent being a good old-fashioned TP-ing.
Even the tradition of jack-o’-lanterns has a darker side. The pumpkins we carve now are a 150-year-old American addition to a much older custom. For more than 2,000 years, people in Western Europe have been carving goblin and demon faces out of turnips, rutabagas, and small gourds, tucking a light inside, and carrying them on poles or leaving them near their doorsteps to ward off the “evil spirits” floating around. But before people used turnips and gourds, it’s suspected some Pagans, like the Druids, used human heads. They believed the head was the seat of the soul, and Celtic warriors would behead the soldiers they killed and mount their heads on poles outside their village to protect their lands.
Nearly every belief system on Earth has a festival dedicated to the forces of death, chaos, and ultimately rebirth, many of them at this time of year. In Mexico, Catholics celebrate Día de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead, when families party in graveyards with their ancestors, sprucing up the gravesites and having picnics right on them. In India, Kali Puja is dedicated to the Great Destroyer goddess, Kali. Her temples run red with the blood of animals sacrificed to ensure prosperity for all, but just days later Hindus celebrate Diwali, their massive week-long New Year’s festival, by hanging up colorful lights, eating amazing food, and shopping for new clothes.
In astrology, the sign that oversees this season is Scorpio, whose constellation is often described as moving “backwards in the sky,” and the Tarot card connected to it is Death. Both archetypes emphasize sex and death—sex in the sense of a union of opposites, namely order and discord, and death in the sense of deep personal transformation, the kind that often requires a dying-off of the old self before the new self can be reborn.
All of this—the hedonistic celebration of life, the appreciation for the abundance of the Earth, and the powerful reckoning of inevitable death and the transition of our life force into “something else”—are why many Pagans view this time of year as the Holy of Holies. Plus, we can finally wear our cool clothes.
In the modern era, most Pagans don’t have the luxury of endless foggy moors to go searching for elementals or huge tracts of land to build bonfires on. Many witches will carve pumpkins, put on costumes, hold giant, loud parties, and hand out treats to any devils who come knocking because they know to make room for love and chaos—or chaos will make its own room—but also because, as one of my sister witches, Sarah, likes to say, “Life is for the living!” But many witches will also head out to local cemeteries and tidy up graves, volunteer at senior homes, offer divination services to their communities, or hold Dumb Suppers—silent meals at which the table is dressed in black, attendees don’t speak, and a place is set for the spirits of anyone who would like to attend from beyond the veil. Pagans see the good in honoring the generations before them, the deeds and misdeeds that have added up to this moment. We are the accumulation of everything that has ever happened. This is the season of coming to terms with that sacred burden, choosing what to leave behind, and what to carry forward.
So this Halloween—sorry, Samhain—I recommend that you eat your fill of sweet treats, live it up, honor your dead, of which 2016 has provided too many, and pull a few pranks on friends and family. And then head bravely off into The Dark.
A quick lesson from one of the Weekly’s resident witches on the autumnal ‘thinning of the veil.’
I’ve been thoroughly mulling over the concept of intimacy, in preparation for this post. Not “intimacy” in a relational or even sexual sense – rather, self-intimacy. That raw, private place where we’re at our barest, forced to acknowledge our true motives and desires, where our innermost memories dwell and keep on affecting us, where we can dance with both the light and darkness in our psyche. Self-intimacy as the meter through which a mindful interaction with the world at large can be measured, and as the prerequisite for a successful, Soul-level intimacy with another human being as well.
Self-intimacy is a primal, archaic dimension of being, yet through the knowledge of this vast personal substrate, we can move beyond blind, pre-wired reactions and attain existential balance. Introspection and familiarity with our truth is essential in bringing us back to our own center, and thus, helping us establish a healthier relationships with others and with the environment. And yet, our alienation from this viscerous realm – and, therefore, from the beauty of the depth of conscious relationships – it’s an unquestionable hallmark of our postmodern era. Most of us are disconnected from our sense of intimacy with the Self, and instead engage in suppressing emotions, memories, trauma and unwanted feelings, pushing them out of conscious awareness. We do it to avoid shame, suffering, to cope with the pace set by capitalism and neoliberism (which requires relentless and robotic standards of productivity that are not to be disrupted by existential crises), to preserve the sense of safety provided by our Ego-based delusions. An avoidance that only causes the unacknowledged, unintegrated layers of our being to grow in strength, becoming more compelling, magnetic (while we, in turn, become strangers to ourselves, fragmented, unable to find satisfaction and fulfillment).
This is the realm of Scorpio, Pluto and the 8th House. Having rulership over the primal processes of birth, death and sexuality as well as psychoanalysis, unconscious layers of the mind and complex energetic currencies, Scorpio gets to bottom-line reality through penetrating inquiry of the hidden, innermost realms – a level of depth where the creative, unbridled dynamism of what is untamed constitutes a proper fertilizer for radical processes of creation, destruction and renewal. This is the territory that will be stirred by the New Moon that occurs on October 30, at 5:38 PM UTC (07°43’ Scorpio): operating at such intimate depth, this provocative New Moon can feel almost intrusive, with her enquiring, introspective invite to recoil in our innermost Universe and unpack the inhibited energy that lies there. A New Moon in itself is an energetic doorway that allows us to break ground for new cycles from within, a time for spiritual and emotional reboot.
The energy of a Scorpio New Moon is therefore the equivalent of a shortcut to our core vibration, serving the higher purpose of a soul-driven purification; it’s like a torrential cosmic flush that helps us to sanitize toxic emotional waters and shift parts of our existence that felt blocked. A confidential encounter with the Jungian shadow, and a chance to use the latter as the formless prima materia that can make us whole.
Depending on your level of self-intimacy and self-honesty, you might find this experience unsettling or challenging – even though the trine between the Sun/Moon conjunction and transcendental, compassionate Neptune ensures some degree of ease and support through the process.
The Sun and Moon also make a conjunction to Mercury, signifying that much of the healing and transformation we initiate under this New Moon will be verbalized, put into words, or generally involve speech, thinking patterns, self-talk. Profound conversations with another individual might turn out to be powerful catalysts for our healing and empowerment, allowing us to draw our power back from bad energy investments and get right with our Soul. But our inner monologue will require attention as well: whenever we speak (Mercury), our subconscious (Scorpio) is listening, so this conjunction is also to be interpreted as a clear signal that we need to carefully discern the types of communication, and thought patterns that must be purged/transformed.
Most importantly, using our intellect to tap into our instinctual inner pulse and navigate its tides is key for regaining control on our life, subtracting power to our unconscious drives. Sure, plummeting beneath the surface to explore our personal Hades requires a leap of courage – but there, we might find the most fertile soils where to plant our most treasured seeds of radical, empowering transformation.
I do not always find happiness in commitment or until death do us part — I leave when my heart is beckoned elsewhere. The need to grow and find new adventures is sometimes greater than my will to stay. Although I have given pieces of myself to others throughout my journey, my heart beats loudly against my chest — yearning for faraway places and strangers I have yet to meet.
I no longer hold on tightly with both hands — clinging with white knuckles and calloused hands to whomever or whatever sets my soul on fire — I learned that to love is to let go.
Having once confused permanence, attachment, and the fear of loss with love and passion, I learned the beauty of the ephemeral and the fleeting. To stay in a moment and revel at what is before you, without dwelling on the past or anticipating the future, is an act of beauty that is taken for granted.
There is an unhealthy tendency among the romantics to fall in love with forever — to romanticize what is to come and develop an attachment to the future. Some rush the relationship by hurrying toward the next milestone rather than savoring each day. Prior to any talk of engagement, the eager lover has planned the entire wedding on Pinterest and handpicked items for the registry at Crate and Barrel.
If the lovers part ways, the romantic is left to grieve the loss of the relationship as well as the end of forever.
Both living and loving in the future can create anxiety and unhealthy, fearful attachments that make leaving feel unbearable. In abandoning the F-word, I learned to walk away from what no longer serves me without guilt or fear. I now give myself permission to live for myself, and live freely without being responsible for the happiness of others despite future plans.
Most importantly, I found there is a way to love another while letting them go.
Love is not defined by forever or holding another hostage. Love is not unwavering devotion to a lost cause or going down with a sinking ship — love is finding someone who evokes passion in the core of your being even if for just a moment. Love is choosing to be with someone because they add purpose to an already meaningful life.
Attachment, however, is needing to be with someone because they are the only source of purpose in an otherwise unfulfilling life. The identity and future goals of one partner can become enmeshed with the other’s, causing separation to feel earth-shattering. While losing someone whom you love is challenging, losing someone whom you have an unhealthy attachment to is devastating.
One must remember that love does not always mean staying. Sometimes, love is leaving.
Throughout my journey, I have learned that the key to a healthy relationship is not eternal love, but rather learning to let go of forever. The dark-haired, blue-eyed Prince Charming who was supposed to get down on bended knee, but instead galloped away with the gorgeous, blonde Yoga teacher, decided to take a different path. Rather than chasing what could have been, appreciate what was and keep walking.
A change in direction gives one an opportunity for exploration and adventure.
In the past, I had to make the difficult decision to leave another in order to pursue happiness. I had found my Prince Charming, moved into a beautiful home, bought lavish decorations, and gave cooking a solid effort before failing miserably — but I was not happy. We spent endless hours discussing wedding plans and future vacations as we walked along a path toward marriage with our hands entwined.
Although I was content, my heart was sometimes heavy, and I exhaled in exasperation and defeat. But why?
I was living the fairy tale that I had dreamt of as a little girl: a house, a car, a career, and a man who was convinced that I was a deity when in reality, I was a deserter. And so I made the difficult decision to leave love and security for freedom. I began untangling my hand from his, and retreating from the path we paved together toward one I would walk alone.
I took a deep breath of courage, and laid to rest the white picket fence and the ring, the white dress and the family game nights. I buried the future plans alongside the guilt and regret that I felt after destroying another with promises I could not keep. I mourned what could have been and made amends to forever — and I left.
My iron heart pulled me in the direction of the unknown, and I followed without hesitation. There is a storm inside that resents comfort and stability, a chaos that must go without question when my soul calls for it. I am a wanderer, and sometimes I must travel alone.
Others whom I meet along the way are welcome to walk beside me, but only if they are able to keep pace. I have learned that I must not shorten my stride to accommodate others. I place one foot in front of the other toward happiness and peace. Others may walk along the same path for a short while, but then come to find that they have a different destination and so our journey together ends.
There is no shame in parting ways with others in your personal pursuit of happiness. I have experienced heartbreaking goodbyes and soul-shaking hellos with lovers and strangers alike. Do not commit to a path to simply follow another’s, pave your own. There is nothing romantic about sacrificing your growth or staying with the wrong person out of comfort or promises of forever.
Moreover, if your partner decides to leave in order to pursue a different path, wish them a safe journey.
To love someone does not mean to hold on in spite of unhappiness. Love is not attachment or possession, it is not a place to cloak your insecurity in the acceptance and affection of another. Most importantly, love — in and of itself — is simply not enough to live happily ever after. Sometimes, the most loving act for both yourself and others is to leave.
Monica Torres is a recovering cynic and world traveler, scouring the earth for meaning, purpose, and fine wines. You could contact her via her website, Facebook or Instagram.